If you hate conflict, you’re not alone: research suggests that interpersonal conflict is the single most stressful aspect of daily life. Why? Because more is usually at stake than we realize. Conflict is a ‘crucible’ in which material, social, and emotional goals interact. More often than we might admit, we avoid bringing up issues or having conversations for fear that we will harm relationships, feel bad, or make others feel bad.
In Resolve: Negotiating Life’s Conflicts with Greater Confidence, negotiation expert and psychologist Hal Movius offers a breakthrough theory of confidence, suggesting that confidence can be learned, regardless of your background or personality. Confidence, he argues, isn’t one thing, but three: mastery (behavioral confidence), awareness (cognitive flexibility), and poise (coping with emotion). Drawing on decades of research, the book shows us how to assess our own tendencies and to carefully cultivate all three aspects of confidence as we confront potential conflicts and negotiations. Three chapters focus specifically on the extra steps and tools we can use when dealing with difficult foes and tactics, resolving issues with loved ones, and negotiating on behalf of groups. A final chapter helps us begin the journey of self-assessment and practical application.
Whether you are an experienced negotiator or a timid novice, Resolve offers concrete yet transformative ways to increase your confidence, helping you to approach conflicts more productively so that you can achieve better results and deeper relationships.